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The Griffin Inquest.


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#21 Dopple

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Posted 12 July 2014 - 11:52 PM

This is beautiful, too.
 

 

Every single one has a name that is absolutely terrible. We're talking 'Sol badguy' levels of obviousness. Just to name a few, we have Lucifer Israel Badde (a serial killer who hunts blond haired, blue eyed women), Hamaan Dydeby Ropbourne (a family man who killed his entire family when they disagreed with his 'peaceful' religion), Festar Ing Wounde and Yetchy Fungu Wounde (described as being an 'undocumented asian couple' who copied Bonnie and Clyde), and then Juzte Donnet Touche and Otto Hake Dick (two pedopehiles). If you think those names are absolutely terrible, don't sound like real names, and seem like bad racist names made up as a joke, you probably have the same thoughts I do.

But it was the last one that did me in. The criminal is named 'Zupid Lawz Zuckez', and if you say that out loud you can almost certainly figure out what his deal was. Why yes, he was a criminal whose life was ruined by 'stupid laws', when he was flagged as a sex offender for peeing on the side of the road.

I had actually written the above bit when I found the glossary, and it turns out I was literally bang on. All the criminal names are explicitly supposed to be named after things. Hamaan died-by ropeburn. Festering & Itchy fungus. Just don't touch. Lucifer is-real bad. OughtTo Hack Dick. And then, of course, 'Stupid law sucks'.

 

 


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#22 Dopple

Dopple

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  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Heimdallr
  • IGN:The Panda Man Can


Posted 31 July 2014 - 04:59 PM

I was circling things in my old and terrible MapleStory fanfiction the other day and remembered I had a ranger called Wastrel, so I'll add that to the collection.


Dopple loves you. Yes, you.

 





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