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#1 Resda Malos

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Posted 15 January 2009 - 03:25 PM

Hi. My name is Resda.

I used to be someone here. It has been quite some time. I believe that when I last was here, I was just barely entering into college.

My claims to fame were random sprite work, random signatures...

and Maple Legend.

I wrote a story once. It recieved a lot of acclaim here, but I eventually stumbled into an inescapable chasm of writer's block and never recovered. So I tried again, promising the world. But no dice. School grabbed hold of me. The story lay dormant on my laptop. I supposed I always thought I would return to it one day.

Now I'm 20 years old. I haven't touched anything Maple Story related in possibly three years. I have a fiance, and I'm deep into college coursework and deeper in debt.

But I want to try again.

A few notes:
  • I've essentially scrapped the old version. There will be parts familiar to veterans, but maybe in a different order, or written from a different point of view, etc.
  • I absolutely will not write a single word until I've fleshed out every part of the story. Currently, I've developed more than half of the plot.
  • Every main character will get equal relevance. This was a problem before... I tended to favor the bowmen in my story a little too much. The other bowman characters are still there, but the other characters' stories have been better fleshed out to match the same level of story telling.
  • I will not resort to cliffhangers unless absolutely necessary.
  • Chapters will be longer. Though I have summaries detailed by chapter, I am likely to merge these as I write.

So yes. Maple Legend will return. But that's not all. I'm posting this because I'm curious. I know the game's changed since I last played some three years ago. New areas in Ossyria, quests, events, even a new class.

But what will that contribute to my story? What kind of setting does each new thing offer that I can use? What's the story behind Nautilus and the pirate class? The Omega Sector? How about anything else in Ossyria? In essence, what has been added to the "background"?

Thanks!


y




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#2 Dopple

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Posted 15 January 2009 - 06:49 PM

This is either a yay or oh no for me, and I'm not sure which. I'll admit it: [edit] -snip-. Wow, I might not have liked Maple Legend, but that was horrible of me. My apologies.

Other than that, though, (assuming you haven't skipped over my post already) I can provide you a summary of the pirate class.

Pirates first made their appearance when the ship Nautilus landed by the south-east portion of Victoria Island, between Ellinia and Henesys. The reason behind their prolonged absence is that they were in grueling pursuit of some evil mastermind called the Black Magician. The Black Magician has, of course, caused lots of grief and pain to people, because that's what all evil masterminds do.

At the helm of the Nautilus is captain Kyrin, pirate extraordinaire, and daughter of the hero Testonen. At a young age, she had been brought under the care of Athena Pierce in Henesys, resulting in some history between the two.

Eventually, her peaceful life came to an end when Kyrin caught news of the death of her father. It is said that he had fallen against the Black Magician's forces. After a heated conflict with Athena concerning the reasons and faults that lie behind the death of Testonen, Kyrin left Victoria Island to follow in her father's footsteps; that is, to protect the world from the nefarious Black Magician.

Fast-forwarding to present times, the pirate captain has now returned to Victoria, but not just on a whim. It appears that the Black Magician has set his/her/its eyes upon the island as another target.

Note: Because Testonen fought using nothing but his fists, an incredibly unique style of combat back in the day I bet, he is hailed as the beginning of pirates. (His name sucks.)

Edited by Dopple, 11 July 2011 - 03:59 AM.

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#3 Resda Malos

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Posted 17 January 2009 - 07:09 PM

Cool, thanks for the background.

Also, thanks for the criticism. In order to improve, one must know what was wrong in the first place.

I think the reason for some of the retarded actions the characters made were story-driven, but unless I knew exactly what you were talking about, I can't be sure... could you perhaps point out a few examples?


y


#4 Tich

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Posted 18 January 2009 - 05:23 AM

OHAY RESDA

I are the real Tichondrius on the forums. Not that creepy imposterJC.

Anyway, I liked MapleLegend and was most likely the only story I ever read mainly because it was one of the more well-written ones here on MapleTip, and it was long enough to actually have a decent amount of story. Not looking at the obvious weird choices the characters sometimes made. But all for the good of a story.

Anyway, I hope you really do continue MapleLegend, because it was a nice story to begin with.

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#5 Dopple

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 08:15 PM

Hmm. I seem to have missed this completely, whatever I was up to two years ago. I just stumbled back over this topic and realised I never gave a proper response, which makes me feel bad because I most certainly owe an explanation.

I've attempted reading Maple Legend some four or five times over these last several years, and I've never managed to get all the way through at any point. After the latest try, well, my opinion of it still hasn't changed, sadly.

The foremost thing about this story is that it's based on a 'chosen one' premise... obligatory prophecy from the wise old guy included! Of course. I think that speaks for itself well enough, so let's just get that out of the way. Glad that your protagonist doesn't suffer from the crutch of amnesia on top of it all, at least.

Secondly, Helena. Sweet sleeping Horntail, Helena. Introduce her and what does she do within a few paragraphs but begin to cry, just from thinking about MC's future. Expert sharpshooter of almost legendary proportions turns into a blubbering thing almost right after the introduction. Boo-giggity-hoo--that's the sound of my respect for her as a character going down the drain. All for what? I don't know about you, but when it comes to tragedy, I don't want some third party proxy trying to garner sympathy from me over things that haven't even happened yet, especially concerning somebody I barely even know. I want to tap into the experiences of the character when he actually does go through said hardships and sacrifices. Show me the money, don't tell me about it, yeah? Similarly, Helena can save her tears until then, because this feels cheap.

The entire chapter three blows my mind. Damn, that wizard girl's stupid, and I never thought I'd use the words 'wizard' and 'stupid' in the same sentence. First she chases "after" buildings that seem to be moving away from her. Then she starts babbling to herself, which beyond making her look creepy I'm not sure what purpose it serves. Now, at this point, I'm still wondering why I should care about her outside of the narrative helpfully (or not) noting that she "in particular stood out" from the crowds, no reason attached.

Then again, this chapter as a whole seems to be at a loss for explaining itself. Why, for instance, would a random passerby thinking along the lines of, 'I can't stop staring at this statue halp,' have the capacity to release an evil being from her mystical prison? Or at least without raising questions like 'Why hasn't this happened earlier?', or 'Isn't that terribly convenient?', or 'wtf?' (my initial reaction).

Additionally, you'd think that being sealed up would make someone with an ounce of sense a little more cautious about broadcasting her evil evil intentions the second she returns to the waking world.


"My name is Deianira," she answered, "but that is not your concern. All you need to know is that now that I am free, my master's work can begin again. The world..." she smiled again, "will be ours."


Or not.

Fortunately for Deianira, though, her adversary is someone of even lower wit. The wizard girl proceeds with the equivalent of running head-first into a brick wall, for all the reason she has to attack the evil minion. Okay... when faced with a new-found menace of unknown power but evil intent, do you:

A) Announce that you are about to attack and display a blatant disregard for who the enemy is.
B) Launch attacks that have no effect on the enemy. Then launch more attacks that also have no effect on the enemy.
C) Run the hell away. Warn others.

Remember: You are a wizard! You might have the capability to pick wisely! If you chose c, you are wrong.

I think she put too many points into STR.


"What? What are you talking about? What are you going to do?" - Wouldn't know a world domination plot if it was spelled out to her... wait. Why am I not surprised?


Maybe you were setting the wizard girl up to be as unlikeable as possible, I don't know. I mean, it really speaks to introduce a character and even slap a name and a bit of background on her and get inside her head and all that, just to turn her into cannon fodder before the chapter ends.

Then evil minion ends the scene off with the obligatory mua-ha-ha-ha... should've given her a moustache and a top hat while she was at it, too. Anyway, I could keep talking on about this, but my point is, it's not so convincing as it's contrived.

Fast forward to chapter fourteen for a bit, the one with the whip guy. I'm going to be brief: there needs to be a rule where characters can't spend more time babbling about their abilities and strategies than fighting.

Lastly, while I'm sure it seemed like a great idea at the time, the insertion of your friends made your story go downhill. If I recall correctly, there was a scene of about a thousand words, and the vast majority of it was sucked up by dialogue coming from four or five different characters. That stretched story and personality substance too thin; if you took away all the names, you'd hardly be able to tell who was saying what. While it could have been saved by an illustration of what made each individual character interesting, most of the dialogue turned out pointless and unnecessary. It was as if merely to remind us that the characters in question still existed, or that you perhaps felt the arbitrary need to make sure all of your friends were included.

- -

Well, I know I only touched on like four things and I would write more but reviewing stories makes me very sad and I don't like that. If you ever get back to reading this, though, best of wishes in whatever you're doing.


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#6 Dopple

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Posted 30 January 2012 - 07:04 PM

I attempted to read Maple Legend again out of boredom, and I'm pleased to announce that I've finally made it through the consolidated version! Horray! It took five years to finish reading this story!

While it was still relevant, I wish I could've asked for someone to explain what they saw in this story that was so great. Though, I won't deny that it was higher quality than the average hodgepodge of words in its time.

 

More little stuff:

Floating in midair, with mystical seals hovering about his body, he was a sight to see.

He was a sight to see, to who? Me? Why would he be a sight to see, if there is nobody to see him?

It had a crimson glint in the sunlight.

Implying that it's not crimson otherwise.

"Hello, Helena? Are you home? It's me, Resda! I think I'm ready to get that second job!"

It's me, the author of this story! I think I'm ready to get that second job!

The forest path from Henesys to Sleepywood was overgrown lately, in his opinion.

An exciting and informative description. Overgrown with what? Grass? Shrubbery? Vines? Green jello? Or maybe the path just stretched itself for no reason.

one in particular stood out like a needle in a haystack

That's not standing out.

A large group was huddled in the corner, watching two strong men arm wrestle. It was a long, tough match, but eventually, one overpowered the other. The winner wore a muscle shirt, leather vest, and blue jeans. He stood up to proclaim his victory.

Are you sure laundry-listing his clothes is the most important thing to describing his appearance in this situation?

Twilight

Who the hell calls their kid Twilight

"Hear this! No one will stand in our way! Shadow Ray!"

Nice poem.

He prepared to jump, but the axe swung forward, crushing his leg. "Gods he's fast," he said.

Deianira handed him a potion, which he drank down, instantly healing his wounds.


> Axe
> Crush
> Somehow maintains within arm's length of his companion, not moving or falling
> Potion instantly heals everything

epic-jackie-chan-template.png Then why have the wound at all?!


Yes, I really have nothing better to do.


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#7 Toxie

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Posted 30 January 2012 - 10:42 PM

Twilight

Who the hell calls their kid Twilight


Posted Image

They do.

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#8 Dopple

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Posted 05 March 2012 - 11:49 PM



Twilight

Who the hell calls their kid Twilight


Twilight_Sparkle_parents_S1E23.png

They do.


Yes, but this Twilight neither sparkles or performs magic, and is neither a pony or a female. He's a killer ninja chosen one with a skill set straight out of Naruto, and he just so happens to be called Twilight.


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#9 Dopple

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Posted 08 April 2014 - 05:36 PM

About the whole chosen one shenanigans, it's more than that it's cliche. If you dare to be cliche, own it. But giving anybody special powers without specifying them as "chosen" and you still have the same deal going on.

 

Here's the thing: at the end of the day, nobody cares what your character is or where he came from. Nice guy? Chosen one? If you rely on abstract qualities like these, I can guarantee you he's not interesting.

 

The thing that matters is what decisions your character makes in the face of adversity.

 

Bit of an aside, this is why I can't stand reading or writing character biographies. One line of dialogue will tell me more than horse bologna like how the character has silken hair and is always calm, or some nonsense like that. Who cares, unless it's relevant to the story?


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#10 Dopple

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Posted 11 November 2014 - 07:00 PM

Spinning off further on the tangent, I've never read a longwinded description of a character's physical features and remembered what the heck they looked like.


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